You Were First Given Yourself

I want to tell you tonight about something that has taken me 39 years to learn: 

You are not for everyone. 

You are not for everyone, but you are YOU, and you are freaking amazing.

Along those same lines, you were given yourself. Yourself. Yourself. Yourself. Yourself. 

I keep saying “yourself,” because I’m talking to myself, just as much as I’m talking to you, and I have to drive this point home tonight within the recesses of my thick skull.

I am still working to internalize the fact that I was GIVEN to ME. 

There was a time in recent years when I felt alone.  I experienced a series of betrayals.  I tried to talk about what I was going through with others, but at that point, many people in my support network were sick and tired of hearing my depressing story.

I was so focused on analyzing and picking apart and trying to understand why these things were happening to me. And no one else could really get to me. 

People were talking to me, but I wasn’t capable of believing what they were saying. And that was because I had forgotten the cardinal rule: You were first given yourself. 

I am the only one in charge of me and that is my power. I am the one, in difficult situations, who gets to decide whether or not I want to hold on or let go. I am the one who was given EVERYTHING I NEED to get through life. God did not create me with the intent of NEEDING another person’s love or respect to get through life. Instead, God created me with the intent to SURVIVE sufficiently, and with tools to get through difficult times. 

One day, I was sitting in my therapist’s office. There was a man that I thought I loved, but I knew he was wrong for me. I looked at her and said, “I just can’t let go. I mean… I don’t want to let go. It’s too hard to be without him.”

And my therapist looked at me and said, “You are definitely NOT giving yourself enough credit. You are SO capable of being without him.”

I went home that night and cried. Then I got up and looked in the mirror and saw myself. There I was–I was the one given to me. I saw in myself, this great, tremendous responsibility to myself to BELIEVE in ME. 

Please don’t think I’m suggesting that we are meant to be totally independent in every way in life, and that we don’t need a support network. I am not saying that. What I am saying is that there WILL be times your support network fails you. There WILL be times you have to walk alone, because that is life, and life is freaking hard.

But that’s why I was given me, and you were given you. You are amazing and you are not for everyone. 

Now go to sleep, get up tomorrow morning and SLAY the day. 

One thought on “You Were First Given Yourself

  1. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to learn the Truth lesson …you are describing.Emliy.
    You are well on your way…you are enough…and You will Let Go…and you will Receive !

    Liked by 1 person

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