I am generally a positive person. I view the glass as half full. I look on the bright side of things. I believe that everything is always working out for me. I believe that I create my own reality. I believe that I always have a choice. I believe that– okay, I’ll stop before I drive us both crazy with all the affirmations. You get the gist that I TRY to be positive.
But today, those affirmative statements weren’t even on my radar. It all started at the dark and early hour of 2:00 am when I woke up to a freezing house. After fiddling around with the thermostat for a bit, I realized our heater wasn’t working. My first thought was, “Oh, this will be an adventure like the pioneer days!” But that thought dissipated in about two seconds when my alarm went off at 5:15 and I thought that I had been teleported to Antarctica.
My daughter was in an unpleasant mood while getting dressed. She was annoyed about the no-heat situation. She said she couldn’t even get dressed under the covers without icicles growing on her skin.
Next, I was carrying a lot of crap out to the car while wearing heels, and my klutz-like tendencies took over as I slipped and fell on the icy stairs off the deck. My daughter, who was scared from watching me fall, scolded me for wearing heels on ice. I tried to explain to her that they were the only shoes that matched my outfit , but then I stopped myself when I realized how ridiculous that sounded.
I intended to email the rental company about the heater right when I arrived to school. But my work phone was already ringing, there were little people called children who needed my help with learning, and before you know it, I had forgotten that there was a problem with my heater.
Until my prep period around 9:40, when someone mentioned that it was cold in the classroom and I suddenly remembered it was much colder in my home.
So, to make a long story short (oops, too late), I left messages for the rental company. They said they would “try” to fit me in, and would be in touch. I mentioned that I have a young child and that I really need heat. The secretary reassured me she would take care of it in some way, shape, or form.
Well, this evening I pieced together that there were some miscommunications between the secretary, the owner of the company, and the maintenance men involved. The heater hadn’t been fixed by the time I arrived home.
And it still isn’t fixed. But, I borrowed a space heater from someone, and Steve, the heater specialist reassured me that tomorrow he would “take care of the situation.” I’m kind of annoyed with Steve right now, but I’m trying to be nice to him because I want heat.
I don’t know why I told you all of this, except for the fact that I really wanted to write a different blog post tonight. I wanted to write a top ten list of the “things I would never do while alone,” with “play miniature golf” being number one on the list. I wanted to draw a picture of someone playing miniature golf by himself so you could all visualize why no one should ever play miniature golf alone.
But I couldn’t do any of that tonight, because I was thinking about heat. Actually I was thinking about eating apple pie, too, but I was thinking mostly about heat. When I need something, but don’t have it, it’s all I can think about at times. It’s like I have blinders on. When I ran a 5k earlier this year, I told my friends I was afraid I was going to get cold, and that I was going to get thirsty, and that then I was going to have to pee, but wouldn’t be able to find a place to pee, until one of my friends reminded me, “You’re only going to be running for approximately 30 minutes. You WILL be okay.”
And I was like, “oh, that’s right.” The blinders came off with that reality check. I had been so worried about my needs not getting met that I had forgotten the bigger picture.
And the bigger picture now is that we are safe and warm next to our space heater. We have food, shelter, and love. I guess my glass is kinda full.